Furniture Construction Trip >>> Day 9 (Friday, 19 May 2006) Travel day back to the US … (sob) … and the glamour of travel …
Wow, to sleep at midnight, up at 4:00 AM … it’s going to be a long day. Shower, straighten up, and take some last minute garbage and cardboard (will it ever end?) to the bins across the street. Bring the car to the front of the building and load up. As I’m leaving, the guys who work all night at the bakery next door are finishing up and having a smoke break. A quick “Buon giorno!” and off I go. A fill up of the rental car on the autostrada, a quick check-in of the luggage (good riddance), drop off the rental car, and still time for a chocolate-filled pastry and a cappuccino. Perfect!
The airport in Ancona (actually Falconara) is small but fully equipped. It’s spacious (separate terminals for arrivals and departures), has a great café, and also has a large duty free shop … not something you’d generally find in a similar sized airport in the US. You can show up 20 minutes before your flight with no worries. I only show up early to be able to grab a coffee and relax.
My flight plans take me from Ancona, to Munich, to Philadelphia (an airport I despise for its supreme inefficiency, poor layout, and a majority of incompetent, rude, lazy employees), and finally home to Columbus.
The flight to Munich is on time, and uneventful. Munich has a wonderful airport that I’ve flown through a number of times. It’s modern, clean (spotless), bright, spacious, and chic. The stores are awesome, even past security. I grab a ham and cheese pastry, a mineral water, and a beer … for an early lunch. Since the World Cup finals are in Germany this year, I buy a World Cup tee shirt at one of the stores. E14.50 … not a bad deal. In the US? It would be $25 easy … or more. Europeans just will not pay. Good for them.
Afterwards, in the gate area, it’s all I can do to stay awake … I am literally falling asleep on my feet. I’m afraid to sit … I’ll fall asleep and miss the flight.
Geez, do I notice the many OBESE people here. They’re all Americans. Not just chunky, not just overweight, not just fat … these people are OBESE. Goodness are Americans fat. I’m talking easily 100 pounds over suggested healthy weight. Men and women. Adults and kids. It’s a shame. And their weight, especially for the more elderly, makes them infirm. That’s why there are oh-so-many of those blasted beeping electric carts in US airports.
“Coming through!”
“Watch the cart!”
“Make way for the cart please!”
“Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.”
I am so sick of those things, I now don’t move. Let ‘em wait. I normally walk as far to the right as I can be, and they’re trying to dodge other traffic and make me move. It’s like playing a video game, move left, move right, move wherever the cart driver wants you to move. Who dreamed this crap up anyway?
The electric carts used to be used to transport the handicapped, injured, or infirm elderly people only. Now? Take a look. Obese middle-aged people too lazy to walk to their next gate. We have a major problem with this in the US, and it’s costing us (you and me) billions in health care costs, lack of productivity, etc. We have to do something, although I’m not sure what. Still noodling on that. Maybe eat less garbage and exercise more? No, that would be too simple.
Same problem with those handicap parking passes. You know exactly what I mean. How often do the people with those passes look like they really need them? What a scam. It only hurts those people who really do have a need.
And, don’t get me started on the obese person who gets the economy seat next to me and “spills over” into my seat … half of my already-too-small economy seat. GET OFF MY LAP!
Finally, we board and I’m even able to find some room for my relatively small backpack in the luggage bin.
I am amazed by how much baggage people bring on board and then expect to shove into those bins. I’ve gotten pretty assertive with flight attendants around this. If I board later, and all the space is taken, I make it their problem to find me space for my meager carry-on backpack. It’s a bunch of baloney that they don’t enforce the baggage rules with any consistency. I regularly get asked to check a clearly “carry on” size bag on the smaller regional jets, when people on flights like this one from Munich to Philadelphia bring two wheeled suitcases each. I just don’t get it.
I am not very high on US airlines, or their flight attendant staffs. This trip, especially on USAir, I found the staffs to be downright nasty. And, I will say, nobody traveling was giving them a hard time. All of the passengers were polite and patient.
I was talking to a flight attendant while waiting to use the restroom on the flight from Munich to Philly when the pilot put on the fasten seatbelt sign. This witch of a flight attendant across the way almost screamed at me, “Get in your seat!”. Not, “Please get in your seat.” Not, “Please sit down, the seatbelt sign is on.” I know what she thought. She thought I was just one of those “galley lurkers” just chatting up the flight attendants, breaking the new TSA/FAA “no loitering” rules, when really, I needed to pee badly. And the guy in the can ahead of me must have been doing his taxes.
I started back to my seat and then I thought, “What am I doing? I paid $1,000 to be treated like this?” I went and relieved myself and then buckled in. I hope USAir goes into bankruptcy for good, and soon. They deserve it. And I hope that flight attendant ends up doing dishes in a greasy spoon to support herself. Customer service? Cordiality? Forget it on USAir.
I will say my Northwest Airlines flights on the way over were very good, and the flight attendant crew were all pleasant, professional, and helpful. A breath of fresh air. They just need to fix their unresponsive “elite flyer” call center issues. Thirty minutes with no response? Unacceptable.
Maybe Northwest can buy the assets of USAir and fire the flight attendants. I suggest no severance whatsoever.
In Philadelphia, after arriving on time, I had 90 minutes to get though immigration, collect my bags, get through customs, drop bags, go through security, and get to my flight, which showed on the monitor as being ON TIME. Plenty of time, right? Not in Philadelphia.
Immigration was slow, baggage took forever. Customs was nothing. The security for transfers in Philadelphia sucks. I can’t explain it any other way. They have a screwed up system that every other airport in America has figured out. I waited at least 45 minutes in a line-up to get through transfer flight security (for the third time … Ancona, Munich, and now Philadelphia). I am all for security … as much and as severe as possible. But how can every other airport in the world do a better job than Philadelphia? I believe it’s because they hire morons.
Once through security, I’m at the “A” terminal, and need to get to “F”. I have to take the shuttle bus, because it’s so darn far and I have no time. I’d prefer to walk, but it’s 5:26 PM and my flight still shows as ON TIME for 5:45 PM. I landed at 4:15 PM. It’s taken more than an hour to get from plane through transfer flight security. Almost 75 minutes actually. Unbelievable.
The bus driver is SLOW. He stops at places where there is clearly no traffic … which mystifies me and the other riders. Everyone is cutting it close because of the morons in security that can’t run a line-up. Everyone is murmuring. Everyone is impatient.
I finally get to my gate, and guess what? Flight’s been delayed for an hour. No flight crew. Aircraft is there, but no crew. This is like the 5th time in two years I’ve had this same problem with USAir. They didn’t know this until the flight departure time came and went? Could it be that they didn’t want to alert anyone so we wouldn’t switch to another airline and take revenue out of their pockets? Hmmm … when they say it’s not about the money, IT’S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY!
In any event, it looks like once they find a crew, we’re ready to go. I go have two beers at the bar right around the corner from the gate, make a few calls, download e-mail, and have a chat with the bartenders and my fellow travelers. Flight time arrives, crew is there, and we’re off.
Back in Columbus, although late, my bags make it … first time for a USAir flight in 5 flights I think. Bravo you dopes … you get it right 20% of the time!
Anyone who thinks travel is “glamorous” just hasn’t traveled enough.
The airport in Ancona (actually Falconara) is small but fully equipped. It’s spacious (separate terminals for arrivals and departures), has a great café, and also has a large duty free shop … not something you’d generally find in a similar sized airport in the US. You can show up 20 minutes before your flight with no worries. I only show up early to be able to grab a coffee and relax.
My flight plans take me from Ancona, to Munich, to Philadelphia (an airport I despise for its supreme inefficiency, poor layout, and a majority of incompetent, rude, lazy employees), and finally home to Columbus.
The flight to Munich is on time, and uneventful. Munich has a wonderful airport that I’ve flown through a number of times. It’s modern, clean (spotless), bright, spacious, and chic. The stores are awesome, even past security. I grab a ham and cheese pastry, a mineral water, and a beer … for an early lunch. Since the World Cup finals are in Germany this year, I buy a World Cup tee shirt at one of the stores. E14.50 … not a bad deal. In the US? It would be $25 easy … or more. Europeans just will not pay. Good for them.
Afterwards, in the gate area, it’s all I can do to stay awake … I am literally falling asleep on my feet. I’m afraid to sit … I’ll fall asleep and miss the flight.
Geez, do I notice the many OBESE people here. They’re all Americans. Not just chunky, not just overweight, not just fat … these people are OBESE. Goodness are Americans fat. I’m talking easily 100 pounds over suggested healthy weight. Men and women. Adults and kids. It’s a shame. And their weight, especially for the more elderly, makes them infirm. That’s why there are oh-so-many of those blasted beeping electric carts in US airports.
“Coming through!”
“Watch the cart!”
“Make way for the cart please!”
“Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.”
I am so sick of those things, I now don’t move. Let ‘em wait. I normally walk as far to the right as I can be, and they’re trying to dodge other traffic and make me move. It’s like playing a video game, move left, move right, move wherever the cart driver wants you to move. Who dreamed this crap up anyway?
The electric carts used to be used to transport the handicapped, injured, or infirm elderly people only. Now? Take a look. Obese middle-aged people too lazy to walk to their next gate. We have a major problem with this in the US, and it’s costing us (you and me) billions in health care costs, lack of productivity, etc. We have to do something, although I’m not sure what. Still noodling on that. Maybe eat less garbage and exercise more? No, that would be too simple.
Same problem with those handicap parking passes. You know exactly what I mean. How often do the people with those passes look like they really need them? What a scam. It only hurts those people who really do have a need.
And, don’t get me started on the obese person who gets the economy seat next to me and “spills over” into my seat … half of my already-too-small economy seat. GET OFF MY LAP!
Finally, we board and I’m even able to find some room for my relatively small backpack in the luggage bin.
I am amazed by how much baggage people bring on board and then expect to shove into those bins. I’ve gotten pretty assertive with flight attendants around this. If I board later, and all the space is taken, I make it their problem to find me space for my meager carry-on backpack. It’s a bunch of baloney that they don’t enforce the baggage rules with any consistency. I regularly get asked to check a clearly “carry on” size bag on the smaller regional jets, when people on flights like this one from Munich to Philadelphia bring two wheeled suitcases each. I just don’t get it.
I am not very high on US airlines, or their flight attendant staffs. This trip, especially on USAir, I found the staffs to be downright nasty. And, I will say, nobody traveling was giving them a hard time. All of the passengers were polite and patient.
I was talking to a flight attendant while waiting to use the restroom on the flight from Munich to Philly when the pilot put on the fasten seatbelt sign. This witch of a flight attendant across the way almost screamed at me, “Get in your seat!”. Not, “Please get in your seat.” Not, “Please sit down, the seatbelt sign is on.” I know what she thought. She thought I was just one of those “galley lurkers” just chatting up the flight attendants, breaking the new TSA/FAA “no loitering” rules, when really, I needed to pee badly. And the guy in the can ahead of me must have been doing his taxes.
I started back to my seat and then I thought, “What am I doing? I paid $1,000 to be treated like this?” I went and relieved myself and then buckled in. I hope USAir goes into bankruptcy for good, and soon. They deserve it. And I hope that flight attendant ends up doing dishes in a greasy spoon to support herself. Customer service? Cordiality? Forget it on USAir.
I will say my Northwest Airlines flights on the way over were very good, and the flight attendant crew were all pleasant, professional, and helpful. A breath of fresh air. They just need to fix their unresponsive “elite flyer” call center issues. Thirty minutes with no response? Unacceptable.
Maybe Northwest can buy the assets of USAir and fire the flight attendants. I suggest no severance whatsoever.
In Philadelphia, after arriving on time, I had 90 minutes to get though immigration, collect my bags, get through customs, drop bags, go through security, and get to my flight, which showed on the monitor as being ON TIME. Plenty of time, right? Not in Philadelphia.
Immigration was slow, baggage took forever. Customs was nothing. The security for transfers in Philadelphia sucks. I can’t explain it any other way. They have a screwed up system that every other airport in America has figured out. I waited at least 45 minutes in a line-up to get through transfer flight security (for the third time … Ancona, Munich, and now Philadelphia). I am all for security … as much and as severe as possible. But how can every other airport in the world do a better job than Philadelphia? I believe it’s because they hire morons.
Once through security, I’m at the “A” terminal, and need to get to “F”. I have to take the shuttle bus, because it’s so darn far and I have no time. I’d prefer to walk, but it’s 5:26 PM and my flight still shows as ON TIME for 5:45 PM. I landed at 4:15 PM. It’s taken more than an hour to get from plane through transfer flight security. Almost 75 minutes actually. Unbelievable.
The bus driver is SLOW. He stops at places where there is clearly no traffic … which mystifies me and the other riders. Everyone is cutting it close because of the morons in security that can’t run a line-up. Everyone is murmuring. Everyone is impatient.
I finally get to my gate, and guess what? Flight’s been delayed for an hour. No flight crew. Aircraft is there, but no crew. This is like the 5th time in two years I’ve had this same problem with USAir. They didn’t know this until the flight departure time came and went? Could it be that they didn’t want to alert anyone so we wouldn’t switch to another airline and take revenue out of their pockets? Hmmm … when they say it’s not about the money, IT’S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY!
In any event, it looks like once they find a crew, we’re ready to go. I go have two beers at the bar right around the corner from the gate, make a few calls, download e-mail, and have a chat with the bartenders and my fellow travelers. Flight time arrives, crew is there, and we’re off.
Back in Columbus, although late, my bags make it … first time for a USAir flight in 5 flights I think. Bravo you dopes … you get it right 20% of the time!
Anyone who thinks travel is “glamorous” just hasn’t traveled enough.
posted by Mark Pukita | 8:46 AM
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